| Second post. | December 1, 2025 |
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What drives action? What drives inaction? Why do we start projects and never finish them? More specifically, why am I so eager to create a brand-new blog feed to represent some sort of personal work portfolio, only to completely forget about it for nearly three years? Sure, I could argue that it has something to do with the fact that my mental health plummeted completely off the deep-end shortly afterwards, the last remaining strands of my sanity having vanished into the ether, and that it's taken me untold volumes of history for me to pick up the pieces and retrace my steps back to some sort of sense of normalcy? I recognize that this isn't a particularly fresh observation, but this seems to be the extent of the human experience for many. An inescapable doom to seek after dopamine rushes by constantly chasing new goals, searching for - and successfully acquiring - that thrill of starting a new project and experiencing the satisfaction of knowing that the project began, but rarely if ever possessing the discipline to keep it going for much longer. For any longer. I curse this condition endlessly. Where am I? Who am I? Am I even real? Was I ever real? Or is my existence nothing more than other people's perception of me? If a K.T.B. falls in a forest and no one is around to hear them, did the K.T.B. really exist at all? I dunno. - KTB |
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